turn the lights out, this shit is way too fucking bright.

not too much going on. back in the sco. time to ensconce myself away from the glitzy world of grey goose martinis...and the not-so-glitzy world of ten dollar bottles of champagne and smirnoff. yeah i like to keep it classy. what can i say? brit's new song "blur" has basically defined the last week of my life. thank god she decided to make a song about getting crunk and then fucking up monumentally. how genius of her. 

katie reassures me that college is about making mistakes. crossing my fingers that i'll hold off on making any more for at least a little while.

are you hungry? i am because you ate all my food.

i've been pretty annoyed because someone has been eating all of my food. mofucka. is that too harsh? this individual has also been consuming copious amounts of lisa's food. we were ichatting today and we decided that the culprit has also been stinking up the bathroom. we also decided that she should get a dundee for the smelliest bowel movement... just like kevin (who, coincidentally, also eats large quantities of food). where's my bread at, bitch? what about my sugar-free jello pudding? i'm still mourning the loss of my pudding.

i just finished a fifteen page paper on japanese cinema, woman in the dunes, and existentialism. i've been working on it for like three days. i'm delirious. how fun. now i get to write a fifteen page paper on color in the virgin suicides. i expect that it will be profound and moving. 

also, i missed mara wilson's one woman show. i know. i fucked up. but i decided that it would be more beneficial to work on my paper, so that's exactly what i did. but why? why did i have to miss the sheer amazingness that is mara wilson? i had hoped that i might sit in the front row and that the show would be intentionally humorous so that i could laugh at her under the pretense of laughing with her and not feel embarrassed and/or like a total douche nozzle. but whatchu gonna do? i'd laugh whether it was appropriate or not. i would've spent four fuckin dollars on that shit had i gone, so i feel like i'd pretty much be buying the right to laugh at mara wilson. but i can do that anywhere...and for free. 

i just had a moment of self-awareness where i realized that i find it incredibly disconcerting that i have dedicated so much time to talking about mara wilson.

it stops here.

just a few more days and then back to the sco. i can't wait for tea at the grove, legit ass mexican food (the thought of it right now is actually really unappealing, but i take tremendous comfort in knowing that the real stuff is there should i need it), chowing down on marina subs, all the other good stuff...yadadimean? what's not to love about a city where "hella" is the norm? thank god for san francisco. i'm doubly thankful for the local vernacular. and the expensive sandwiches.

i've lived in new york for like four or five months now. i don't usually miss san francisco (what i lovingly refer to as "the city") too much, but the one thing i miss most might just be:

toilet seat covers.

why don't they have them in new york? what an unsanitary mess.

i'm excited because i'm going to see jessica after like i dunno...six months? it's going to be so much fun. i pretty much miss laughing at everything and everyone. yeah we're kind of bitches. i realize it's not nice to make fun of others. but we just can't help ourselves. also, starbucks (which is cheaper in california) will be the hangout of choice. jess loves her tea. i love my latte. that's just how it works.

i'm excited to see boris. what a g. he's pretty old now, i guess. but he's still a big thug. and he's soft. i sound retarded. my bad. (note: lisa told me i should probably mention that boris is my cat. he has a facebook group dedicated to him...i didn't make it...and a following of swedish people, which i don't get).

and then there's emma the puggle, who my stepmom coddles. consequently, emma has severe separation anxiety. she was taking dog prozac for awhile, but i can't remember if she still takes it. i thought that was funny. sometimes they give her a sedative, usually for the plane, but sometimes just when they're gonna leave her at home for like half an hour. why won't my parents hand me a sedative (vicodin, please?) so that i can just chill out when they leave? am i being too irrational?

i found out that my love interest was involved in some sort of book release/intellectual party today. in oakland. yeah. fuckin 510...hate you so much. but i'd pretty much drive to the fuckin cuts of oakland in order to attend this function. but alas, i'm still in new york. miss the yay. really just san francisco actually.

i have to finish an essay that's due tuesday on monday because my dad is coming to new york for the day. yeah it's random. we're doing lunch at the yale club. pretty much exactly the kind of pretentious that us grahams fucking love. seriously, all of us. well, maybe just most of us. we eat that shit right up. but we've also convinced ourselves that we're incredibly down-to-earth. yeah, did i mention we're semi-delusional? my dad may sponsor me as a member of the yale club, which would be pretty fucking amazing. but probably more amazing in theory than in real life. i can't tell if that was sarcasm just now. but anyway, i don't know if i'd be embraced by the yale club since i go to nyu...not an ivy...fuckin school for hipsters and ugly drama kids who want to become actors so they pursue a prestigious tisch degree...is that beneath the yale club? just might be.

anyway. bottom line:

back in the sco in like a week. keepin it cutty until i'm back in the cuts. that's what's up.

xoxo

SAM

kill the lights

i've been listening to britney obsessively for too many weeks. 

also, i'm trying to write a paper about japanese cinema. what the fuck is that anyway? no such thing as a national cinema. not in my opinion, anyway. woman in the dunes is the focal point. i pretty much ramble about how it's one of the best books and films of all time, yet when i tried to watch it last night, i totally zonked out. i'm still a narcoleptic insomniac. such a beautiful existence.

today i went to the christmas market at union square. what a great place. i didn't really see anything i wanted, but i saw a shit ton of stuff that i didn't want, which made it a lot of fun. i just pointed and laughed at everything. i tried on funny hats. i love hats so much. i don't own any though. except for one, which was given to me by grandpa larry. it's a yacht club baseball cap. i wear it around sometimes because i find it humorous. i don't think anyone else does. also, i drank hot apple cider and looked at funny puppets that were reminiscent of those used in crank yankers or like maybe sesame street. what a funny gift that would make. i wonder who purchases those. i found a flask with a secret compartment for my cigarettes. it was really the only thing i wanted there, but i couldn't tell whether the woman said it was sixteen, sixty, or sixty-eight dollars. so i didn't buy it. 

i just heard the faintest sound. it was mambo number 5. yeah i thought it was pretty funny. when does it ever happen that you're just hanging out in your room and suddenly the sweet, mellifluous tune of mambo number 5 penetrates your ears? and lou bega's voice and those sweet ass lyrics...pretty great, i know. 

i sat at barnes and noble for an hour maybe with katie. i was taking notes about color in the virgin suicides from a book that was forty dollars. like i'm tryna buy that shit. so i just wrote the essentials down. katie and i overheard a funny lady talking to another woman. she said "so...is christmas one of your favorite holidays?" i thought that was really funny. who asks those kinds of questions. she also mentioned that senator obama will become president, which i also found humorous, since it's so blatantly obvious. katie and i decided that the funny lady asking and saying a whole slew of silly and utterly inane things was in fact trying to teach the other woman english. here's hoping. before all of this happened, i was sitting alone at the table while katie was ordering her bagel from starbucks and i overheard this guy and girl talking. the girl was so annoying. she was talking so loudly. and even worse...she had her feet up on the chair next to her, which i just find obnoxious. except for when i do it. then it's okay. that's how it usually works, though. 

i'm going to attempt to do some work. but let's face it: i'm really just going to watch the office with lisa and then go color in my hello kitty coloring book. hella.

g-cracka in da house, all nite long

i thought about writing this in comic sans because i know that would make lisa cringe. it would also make me cringe. i don't have that option, so i guess it's for the best.

lisa has just informed me that samanthagraham.blogspot.com or whatev belongs to a sassy latina who writes in spanish. she lives in san francisco and writes in spanish. fine, maybe i don't speak spanish, let alone write it, but i can't help but feel that my identity has been stolen. how strange.

so it's 5:27am. i've seen 5:27am too many times in the past couple of weeks. insomnia is sort of a funny thing. i've been distracting myself with a number of things, including but not limited to: coloring in a hello kitty coloring book. i drew a self portrait in the coloring book tonight. i used a pink marker to color my usually thin lips, but it bled and so my lips look puffy like goldie hawn's. or melanie griffith's. yadadimean? my lips are really a little puffy right now because i am not yet used to new york's cold, cold winter and my lips are chapped and itchy and paying dearly. wordog (that's like word and dog combined).

the best thing ever happened to me tonight: my dad sang "down for whatever" by ice cube to me over the phone. he didn't sing along to music or anything. just the lyrics. his voice was pure and his message was strong. my soul has been touched.

also, i have a lot of papers to do. when i tried to watch woman in the dunes tonight, i fell asleep 

after about only two minutes. great. i'm convinced that i have been plagued by narcolepsy. it is both a bizarre and burdensome affliction. for real.

one interesting and important thing that is going on in my life is that i will soon be attending a one-woman show starring none other than mara wilson. fuck yes. now this is the reason that i gladly fork over like $55,000 a year to nyu...so i can witness mara with my own eyes. this will be blissful. the name of the play and the facebook event that is dedicated to it is called: "weren't you that girl...?" and mara wilson pretty much filled in all the event info and it was pretty fuckin funny. god am i grateful that i go to nyu. and no, that's not sarcasm. now i'm laughing because lisa said something funny about sarcasm earlier in the week. now i look like i a doufus (i know that's not how you spell it, but it's more aesthetically pleasing this way). now i'm laughing again because lisa just sneered at me and said "stop laughing at yourself." if only it were that simple. but now, back to mara. anyway, she even wrote on the wall for the event in response to someone else's comment. how amusing, i thought to myself. what a funny girl. i also can't believe that i have composed this entire paragraph without mentioning how unfortunate looking she is. puberty and age have not been good to poor mara; hence, i will show my support at her show. can't wait. i've heard from friends and other people who have seen her that she is a mondo bitch. i wonder if she will inadvertently...or even intentionally...convey this in her show. one can only hope. thank god for mara wilson.

peace out.

xoxo,

SAM