Fuck MY Life, Not Yours...

Emergence of new web blog FML has complicated and damaged my life irreparably. I used to say "fuck my life" all the time. now i can't say it without sounding totally lame (is it possible that i sounded lame saying it even in pre-FML days? probably...) or at least sounding like some loser who reads the stupid blog. now "fuck my life" just sounds so emo...or facebooky...or something.

i made a twitter recently. i think twitter is dumb, but not as dumb as fml. it used to be that dumb, but then i discovered shaq's twitter and now i can finally see all of twitter's redeeming qualities. favorite shaq tweet of all time:

 

"I'm goin to the alamo tomorro to get one of those daniel boone squirrel tail hats, I'm n san antonio, in case u didn't kno were the alamo is"

don't you mean "raccoon tail," shaq?

or maybe it's this one:

"Went to a horse style cirk us dolay show called cavalia, very impressive"

 

"cirk us dolay," huh?...could he mean "cirque de soleil," perhaps? this only confirms in my mind that shaq is the height of sophistication. a truly worldly man and dynamite     individual.

i also like this tweet:

"People n phoenix u have 5 min to touch me I have 2 laker tickets n my hand I'm on a corner at a bus stop"

 

what's funnier...that he is giving the people of phoenix five minutes to touch him or that he's on a corner at a bus stop... now what exactly is a bona fide celebrity such as himself doing standing at a corner bus stop?

mostly, i'm just blogging as a means of avoiding a midterm that is due in only a few hours. i could easily say "fuck my life," but i won't.